Letting Go of Regrets

“You cannot embrace your destiny if you do not let go of your history.”~ T.D. Jakes

Although I have made and am making wonderful progress daily,  from time to time I still find myself preoccupied with certain thoughts, feelings and memories. When I tell people this, they just tell me to let go, but you see, that’s the difficulty. How do you let go? That’s what people usually forget to explain. For some, it’s as easy as diverting their attention, but for others, it’s as easy as not imagining A PINK ELEPHANT WITH A SANTA HAT ON THAT IS RIDING A MOTORCYCLE.

… You just did, didn’t you?

*Sigh*

Just LET GO of the PINK ELEPHANT WITH THE SANTA HAT ON RIDING A MOTORCYCLE  UP THE EIFFEL TOWER.

Are you still thinking about it?

See my point.
(Okay yes I changed the story slightly, and no that’s not cheating … MY blog, MY rules)

So anyway, I tend to find myself in a similar predicament. And painstakingly slowly, but surely, I have begun to develop a technique for ‘letting go’, which I coin:

‘Ctrl + Alt + Delete’ 

Control

Tell yourself that you are taking control of your life. It may also mean taking deeper and slower breaths to control your physiological stress responses.Alter
Alter the situation by using coping techniques to condition yourself to react differently

(See my suggestions below).

Delete 

And delete any triggers from you, take yourself away from the situation.

Image result for new chapter quotes book

 1. FORGIVE & REMEMBER

But don’t ruminate and hold grudges…. YES, I actually disagree with the forgive and forget. Tell me, do you remember the first person that ever broke your heart or trust? Exactly my point. As much as people may like to say that they’ve moved on, it will always form a part of them. And that’s OK. Just when you remember, forgive.

2. REINVENT YOUR STORY, WRITE A BIOGRAPHY

I realised that the story I used to tell myself, was one of the factors that hindered my progress. Not to say it was a bad story,  It was true but the problem was I gave other people more script in a book entitled “a story of MY life”. So over time I began to re-edit each chapter and restructure it so that I became the main character, and while I was at it, I decided to spice up the story line… just a little… after all this book is the legacy that will follow me long after my death.

So, I began to research what makes a good biography/story? It turns out almost all of the most captivating and inspiring stories are ones that begin with obstacles. Check.

The plot that develops shows the character/s beginning to understand their power and develop deeper meaning from the situation. Yup.

They then use this newly discovered drive as motivation to cause change or break barriers and achieve their dreams. Ok, I’m working on that.

And finally, it ends with the character/s living a wonderful life or leaving a great legacy. Well, I’ve just got to leave that to my successors to find out.

To summarise. It’s the overcoming that makes a captivating story plot.

 

3. KEEP PREOCCUPIED

If you find yourself overthinking, it’s because you are most probably bored or something has triggered you to do so. In any case, make sure you find or develop a strategy to help take you out of the situation.

It’s okay if you haven’t yet found something, with every moment you have of ruminating, you have a chance to develop a strategy. It could be having a random youtube playlist of silly videos, or listening to meaningful songs. It should preferably be something that you can access it at any time, and on the move.

So go on. Maybe now is the time to join that club/society/group that’s been on your mind for the last year or so, or print out your favourite photo. It’s better to try and fail many times than to never try at all.

4. LET THE EMOTIONS OUT

CRY, WRITE, VENT, DRAW, SING, DANCE… BE CREATIVE.

But DONT judge yourself.
You are not weak, you are getting it our of your system. However long that takes
If all else fails. LAUGH. It releases endorphins that should boost your mood anyway 🙂


As you begin to develop a routine, you will see a window that begins to widen and gives you a chance to act before you react. The wider you can get this gap, the sooner you will begin to realised you have moved on. Letting go doesn’t mean suppressing/ignoring the issue. It means embracing it with open arms, and accepting that it is something you can no longer change. And by accepting it (not agreeing with it), you’ve already won the battle.

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